Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
