Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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