But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
