I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
