morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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