It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
