There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
