I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
