The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
