Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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