Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
