you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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