just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
