ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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