You're completely useless in the revolution.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
