he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
