69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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