And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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