My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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