Acid is not a monday night drug
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
