If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize