you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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