She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
