There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize