Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
