Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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