Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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