i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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