i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
