I'm jealous of your bromance
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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