You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
