If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i think i just lost a toe
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
