sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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