I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
