we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
