ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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