He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
