Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
