So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
