yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize