I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
