there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
