Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
