Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
