I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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