I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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