Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
