it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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