The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
