Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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