GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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