am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
