OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
