Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
