HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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