week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
