i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
