Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
two words: eviction party
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
